{Photo by Seek Axiom}

Life is a crazy thing and its scary. As I sit here and type away at the key board I have so many thoughts and feelings going through my head and I don’t know how or what is really going to come out or if it will even make any sense. I don’t know how people who read this will take it, but at the same time its thoughts that I think a lot of people often ignore because they don’t like to deal with things head on. Life is tough, its not always sunshine and rainbows, its hard and sad and while you can sit here and act like life is great and post only what you want people in the world to see, you can only mask things for a certain time and then they resurface.

You see even the toughest people who are strong, independent and smart go through shit and sometimes they need someone to lean on, someone to take care of them. You can have a great job, have an amazing family and amazing friends and still feel like something’s missing. You can feel this way and its not because you aren’t appreciative of what you have in your life, but because you feel like you have to be the one to always keep your shit together. The one who is always the bigger person, the person who will fix everything, make everything better and let people treat you bad and say “it’s okay” because you want to do the right thing and just be a good friend, a good person. But in reality that’s not okay. Its not okay because you only have one life, you don’t always have a second chance and you aren’t guaranteed anything except this moment you are living right now so you have to make it worth it.

SO what is the point of all of this stuff I just wrote, I don’t know, maybe its me just wanting to let anyone know that if you’re going through a tough time and trying to figure out your life, know its okay, you don’t have to have all of the answers, you don’t need to always feel like superman or superwoman. You just have to live, do the things that make you happy and say whats on your mind and how you feel. Why? because everyone deserves to be happy and be loved. Everyone needs to know its okay to cry and its okay to be sad. Its okay to be vulnerable sometimes because being vulnerable means being uncomfortable. When we put ourselves out there we often wonder if we will get criticized or feel hurt, but because of this we are courageous for opening up and allowing ourselves experiences that we need in order to bring a purpose to our life.

Lastly, we need to love because love is the most important thing you can do as a person and its also the most risky thing you can do. Love is powerful and uncertain and loving someone leaves you to being emotionally exposed. It’s scary, but we’re open to being hurt because we can’t imagine our lives not being loved or loving others and all of this is vulnerable and risky at the same time, but we allow it.

Its funny how over the last year I’ve learned so much about myself, but know there is so much more to learn.  I don’t think anyone would ever say they like to feel stressed or anxious, sad and defeated, but at the same time I am a very strong believer in things happening for a reason. Lessons being learned during some of your most difficult and stressful times. Its during these times that you learn more, you feel more, appreciate more and find the real meaning of your life, what your supposed to be doing. It’s almost as though a light bulb goes off and everything clicks and you find those answers you’ve been looking for, sometimes it happens quickly and other times it may take a while, but it happens.

As I finish typing and debate in my head if I should really hit the publish button, I’m worried what people will think of this, but then I think of what a good friend told me recently and sometimes you just need 20 seconds of insane courage and then its done. So here’s to that 20 seconds…

Just know you have a purpose in this crazy world we live in and each day when we wake up its another opportunity for us to share our love with others. xo

-B